About

Hi there reader,

This website is a combination of two things: Stories that come from my upbringing, which was anything but regular, and the ongoing, play-by-play commentary of what unfolds over these next one thousand single days.

What do I mean when I say  ’One thousand single days?’
I mean, one thousand days of being single. And by single I mean single in every sense of the word. No men, no dating, no flirting, no kisses, no romantic love, no valentines day, nothing.

This is an experiment on my life:  Deciding that for one time in my life, I am going to separate myself from that whole dirty, crazy, hectic romantic love thing, and then observe what happens to me during that time.

This is a choice. Until March 14, 2015, I am choosing to be alone. And what I choose to do with that time, I think, will define me later on.
I intend to use this time to address some of the issues I have. For example, I am very stubborn, I think I am always right, I have no boundaries, I have shockingly low self esteem, I get jealous, I can get really, really angry….
I am going to explore all those issues publicly in the most candid way I possibly can, knowing many of you will also relate to something i just listed, and it can help to know you aren’t alone. But we mustn’t be content in living with these character flaws. We have one life, there should be no excuse to exit this life with the same disfunction we were born into. We have to address our weaknesses for the sake of others, but mostly, for the sake of ourselves. Like attracts like. Whole people, attract whole people.
I want to learn to be whole.
I also feel (and correct me if I am wrong) that life at times seems to revolve around love-dating-men-women-sex-flirting-breakups-makeups-lovesongs-romantic comedies……..
Is there a life outside of it all?
Well, I intend to find out.
In choosing to commit to this period of my life to being single, I am not choosing to endure a period of life that will be absent of love. I are choosing to explore and experience every other form that love presents itself in. There is far, far more forms to love than just the one a lover or spouse can offer you.

They say that there is only one happiness in life; to love and be loved.
Yes, true enough perhaps but the source of that love? One man? One woman? Your boyfriend? Your date? Your lover?

What about the friend who you have known since you started walking? What about the brother who is over protective, but adores the heck out of you? What about your mother, who you haven’t gotten to know as well as you should yet, but would lay down her life for you? What about your kids, who forgive your failings and your stumbles and even after you have taken your frustrations out on them in an angry and unreasonable outburst, still curl up on your lap at the end of the night?
In choosing to remain single for the next 1000 days, I won’t necessarily lack love in my life. In fact, it is quite the contrary. I have begun discovering just how much love I have in my life. It’s always been there, and I’ve always felt I was well loved, but without the distraction of trying to stay afloat in a tumultuous relationship, I am beginning to see the extent of it.

Thank you for reading. As of May 2nd, 2013 I was 330 days into my 1000 single days and my life has already been transformed.
I am happier than I have ever been in my life.
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521 responses to About

  1. hellenmasido March 26, 2013 at 11:09 PM

    wow! isnt that a challenge? what if some guy comes along that likes you back? i am following to see what happens! ;-) )

    Reply
  2. beautifulbird. March 27, 2013 at 7:49 AM

    your strength and perspective is quite admirable. I look forward to following your journey.

    Reply
  3. lcmitsu March 27, 2013 at 11:36 PM

    Hi! Just wanted to let you know that I have nominated you for the Very Inspiring Blogger Award. Thank you for doing what you do. Please don’t feel obligated to do anything just wanted you to know your words are appreciated.

    http://lindafrindt.wordpress.com/2013/03/27/the-very-inspiring-blogger-award/

    Reply
  4. amaeguerrero March 31, 2013 at 12:51 AM

    Wow, I commend your principle. Love you blog. God bless you =)

    Reply
  5. feelingblind April 1, 2013 at 12:10 AM

    I’m glad you that liked one of my blog posts. :)

    One thousands single days, that should prove to be very educational. I’m sure you’ll learn a lot about yourself during this time. I believe it is true what they say, that you can’t love someone else until you love yourself, and a big part of that is figuring out who you are outside of the context of a relationship.

    Reply
  6. Arpita Myles April 1, 2013 at 12:59 AM

    Thanks for stopping by my blog. That is a very interesting experiment that you got going! I hope, that in these days, you become much more loving, caring, mature and understanding than you already are. I hope that you learn to love and respect yourself much more. And I think I can safely say that your future partner is going to be a very lucky man! take cr, all the best and happy blogging!

    Reply
  7. parmar.amit April 1, 2013 at 1:04 AM

    Amazed by your conviction…Best of luck.

    “He who stands for nothing will fall for anything.”

    Reply
  8. Joanna April 1, 2013 at 8:06 AM

    Good luck on your journey. In a lifetime, a thousand days will seem small, but your personal growth may be huge, if you manage to explore and celebrate all those other examples of love which you describe above. And good luck with the novels too. You have admirable projects ahead!

    Reply
  9. huntmode April 1, 2013 at 11:10 AM

    Y’all be careful – I once took six months off, which turned into seven years… It was worth it.

    Reply
  10. change it up editing April 1, 2013 at 11:51 PM

    Thanks for liking one of my posts, which led me here to your blog. I can’t wait to read more!

    Reply
  11. YemYola April 2, 2013 at 8:02 AM

    Thanks for liking one of my posts. Your article that expressed the 8 words that has shapened your perspective is intriguing. When you do have spare time please come back to visit again.
    I do wish you well and hope you can finish your Nursing degree sometime soon.
    All the best xx

    Reply
  12. hope4theworld April 3, 2013 at 1:42 AM

    All the best, you have done well so far! I just thought this song would encourage you :)

    Reply
  13. needawitness April 4, 2013 at 6:08 PM

    Hello! I’m so great you liked my post so I could find this, I’ve just made the decision to spend a lot more time alone because I want to get to know myself better. Looking forward to reading about how your 1000 days are going :)

    Reply
  14. Vince Dickinson April 10, 2013 at 1:30 PM

    My best friend needs to go through a similar process of staying single and discovering or creating who he is. Good luck.

    Reply
  15. Real Mom Dee April 11, 2013 at 5:48 AM

    Hi!
    I was nominated for the Versatile Blogger Award here on WordPress and was asked to name my favorite bloggers and nominated you! Go to my blog to see what I said about mine and about you: http://www.realmomsdo.com

    Here are the rules for your nomination…

    The Versatile Blogger Rules

    Add The Versatile Blogger award photo on a blog post
    Thank the person (or animal) who presented you with the award and link back to him or her in your post
    Share seven things about yourself
    Pass the award along to 15 favorite bloggers. Contact the chosen bloggers to let them know about the award.

    Real Mom Dee

    Reply
  16. Monique a.k.a freckles & a pink tiara April 12, 2013 at 6:06 AM

    I know that you’ve got this several times before, but since you are such a source of inspiration I’m sure this won’t be the last one. I’ve nominated you for the Very Inspirational Blogger Award.

    http://frecklesandapinktiara.wordpress.com/2013/04/11/very-inspiring-blogger-award/

    Reply
  17. sajithajayaprakash April 13, 2013 at 5:47 PM

    Thanks for liking my blog on emotion abuse. I checked your blog, liked the little bit I read, and am following you! Shall visit back and read more stuff. Kep churning more :)

    Regards,
    Sajitha

    Reply
  18. Simple Heart Girl April 15, 2013 at 1:59 PM

    :)
    http://simpleheartgirl.wordpress.com/2013/04/14/awarded/

    Reply
  19. inourstars23 April 19, 2013 at 9:41 AM

    Your willingness to try this is admirable, I hope you find what ever it is your searching for. Might actually try something similar though I don’t think I could last so long.
    Wishing you good luck,
    J

    Reply
  20. Nora L Pratt April 21, 2013 at 9:02 AM

    Just popped in to thank you for following me and so glad I did! Looks like we are on the same quest (well mine started in 2010… a bit different but very similar). I commend you on your quest; however I want to make one comment, as those “flaws” that you mentioned could also be viewed as assets; to a point. It’s great that you are taking the time to look at your short comings, but I would be careful in saying you are flawed. There are many reasons we are the way we are and we must accept ourselves for the wonderful people we are now. AND understand and accept our own “human-ness” then we can better make the adjustments for the better. I’m willing to bet that you are a very giving, compassionate and intelligent person with a great many gifts.

    Good luck to you and I will look forward to reading more as you explore each day of your new journey.

    Nora

    Reply
    • happinessheals April 30, 2013 at 12:00 AM

      I agree with you Nora L Pratt. We are all beautiful souls learning to love while on the physical plane. To live, to love, to make mistakes, to make successes, to create all manner of messes is what being human is all about. Thank you for inspiring me to write to you Nora. Gratitude Dance! :~)

      Reply
  21. huntmode April 25, 2013 at 1:00 PM

    Hi Vanessa, I have nominated and awarded you the “Very Inspiring Blogger Award.” No pressure to follow the rules, to respond or just accept. Just thought you might like to know you came to my mind. Here’s the link:
    http://chasingrabbitholes.com/2013/04/24/golden-letter-a/

    Best ~ HuntMode

    Reply
  22. justgeorgia April 26, 2013 at 7:22 PM

    Wow, your commitment and determination is so inspiring. I really hope this goes well for you!

    Reply
  23. beetleypete April 26, 2013 at 7:59 PM

    Thanks for the follow. Three marriages in 36 years hardly seems appropriate to 1000 single days, but I will have a look around your site, and wish you well with your ‘project’. Maybe I am the opposite, the ‘ scientific control’? Regards from England. Pete.

    Reply
  24. Paul Handover April 27, 2013 at 8:53 AM

    Huge thanks for deciding to follow Learning from Dogs, and what a fascinating 1,000 days ahead of you. Wish you so well; I’m sure that it will be a wonderful journey.

    Reply
  25. amoolaw May 1, 2013 at 12:27 AM

    This is long overdue, but I just want to thank you for stopping by my blog. I especially want to wish you the best of luck on your life journey and congratulate you on your success thus far.

    Reply
  26. makagutu May 3, 2013 at 6:02 PM

    That must be a journey plus! Wish you well with the remaining days though tell me if you may, why 1000 days?
    And thanks for the follow, on my site the thoughts are so random but I hope you find them interesting if not educative :-D

    Reply
  27. Nirmal Bajwa May 3, 2013 at 8:18 PM

    Thanks for the follow, nice introduction, don’t let the inner quest die. the more you feel single, more you will feel yourself there for you slowly the vacuum will vanish.

    Reply
  28. The Underground Writer May 3, 2013 at 10:37 PM

    Your blog is very powerful and appears to be very successful. Your book also sounds extremely interesting – keep up the great work! Thank you, also, for following my blog. I am flattered!

    Reply
  29. yourtruthdiet May 4, 2013 at 2:07 AM

    I tried to embark on a 365 Days of Single Life Journey after a horrible situation with some guy and then shortly into my journey I met Mr. Awesome. You never know where this journey may take you, but I think you will learn so much about yourself……Healthy Journey!

    Reply
  30. leejacobs May 6, 2013 at 10:49 AM

    Awesome! Good for you! It all starts with loving yourself independent of how or who loves you.

    Reply
  31. Ann Marie Thomas May 12, 2013 at 10:12 PM

    Thanks for following my blog. I hope it will be an inspiration to you at this special time in your life.

    Reply
  32. jv61 May 13, 2013 at 8:38 AM

    You have something very powerful going on here. Congratulations on taking control of your life. A quick calculation tells me I’m on day 983 of being single myself, and my record is about 15 years, which I don’t necessarily recommend. I hope your journey helps you discern what is right for you.

    Reply
  33. Dara May 21, 2013 at 10:44 PM

    Hell’s Bells! This quite the undertaking but I applaud you for going against conventional wisdom. Excellent stuff.

    Reply
  34. Nora L Pratt May 24, 2013 at 3:02 AM

    I nominated you for a Most Influential Blogger. My sincerest congratulations to you, Have great day!

    Nora

    Reply
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